Fear of Monsters
My Story – Here I leave my poem, a poem of hopes and fears. My name is Ana and for fourteen years I was married to a guy who among friends seemed to be the most fun person ever, and a great father to our two children. But in our house, he was very abusive, mostly emotionally, but sometimes also physically. I stayed married for that long because I thought I was doing the best for my children. But then I realized my children were scared too. Also, I prayed to God to show if I should leave him when I realized my children, and by being raised in the middle of an abusive house, could grow up to be the abuser or to accept being abused. We had a girl and a boy. But when he started abusing my boy too, that’s when I knew I had to escape. But it was too scary.
I was lucky that I got the support of my family to protect me from him. And now, twenty-six years after I escaped, I had a nightmare that we were going to get back together. I woke up sweating and trembling. So I wrote this poem:
Fear of Monsters
There in the middle of a dark night With rocks rolling at you, Your mind spins, Your body rocks, Your heart races. Tears flee through your eyes, You cover your face with your shaking arms. You fold yourself in two. But you can’t control the heart-pounding In your throat, in your ears, in your mouth. In your chest. You can’t escape. You try to smile, to pretend, but inside of you A tornado, an avalanche, a gloomy night with no Moon, no estrelas, no hope. But there is hope. I know it’s scary. I know you can’t believe it. But you can get out of this trap. There are people who can help. There are shelters to hide. There’s peace to find. You’re not alone. Give me your hand. Step by step You can travel on this new path. It’s scary. It’s unknown. It’s filled with monsters too. Your own monsters: what if, and, but. Don’t listen to them. Follow the light. Follow your heart. Follow the ones who love you the most. And leave behind the rocks and roars. Leave behind the fear and tears. Leave behind this scary storm who pretends to be a rainbow sometimes. No, he will never be a rainbow. And you will be better off without him. Peace, Paz Is all we have to fight for.
Poem Submitted by Ana
